This is my first ever time blogging so please be kind and any feedback is appreciated.

A little bit about me my name is Lyndsey Vize I am 26 from a town called Port Glasgow in Scotland. I have had a lovely normal childhood brought up by my Mum and Dad who are still together and are my favourite people on the planet ❤🌍 I have never wanted for anything and I am blessed for the childhood I had. I have one older brother who I love to hate sometimes but that siblings. I also met my now fiance at 16 … 10 years on we are still together he’s my best friend and my rock. I still live with mum and dad but that will hopefully be changing soon.

I work full time 9-5 in the bank as a personal banker, I enjoy my job but can be hard at times.

I had put on weight over the years and I am constantly battling to be fit and lose weight always feel like im failing. I love slimming world and know it works when you commit to it I just need to stick with it. I am not at my heaviest and trying to learn to be kinder to myself.

Where my mental health journey began or when it all came out rather November 2018 I was going through a tough time things happened in my family trying to lose weight, trying to be strong look after my own family, bending over backwards to get time with my partner and it feels like you are balancing so many plates you’re doing well but then you’re arms get so tired and heavy you drop the plates and they smash into a million peaces and suddenly you feel worthless you can’t see a light you just give up and dont want to be here. Thats when I tried to take my own life, something stopped me there was a sign someone came into my head. I drove home and I admitted I needed help. I went to hospital then to my gp was put on antidepressants and given 9 weeks off work which was a hard journey lots of dr trips good days, bad days and all in between. Increased antidepressants sleeping tablets, tablets for anxiety it was a whirlwind. I was eventually diagnosed with depression and anxiety after the 9 weeks I went back to work again had good days and bad days. Then again this month I felt back in the black hole and I am really struggling I have seeked councelling and hope that will help but I do feel lost and I’m not ok. I struggle to be honest about how low I feel and how anxious I get. The feeling of wanting to self harm and suicidal thoughts are overwhelming at times.

I can go from being a strong ambitious woman full of laughter and fun then I crumble and the dark clouds come in. I can put on a brave face sometimes and other times I just can’t.

Always be kind to others you don’t know what they are going through.

💜